Doggie Update

We have recently began to put Ginger in her kennel for night time (basement cooler in summer) and when we're gone (can't stay in a hot car). Surprisinly she seems to be okay with it. She is a "den" dog, meanding she was bred to like small, tight spaces. She can often be found under one of our beds for a quick nap or hideout. However, I've notice a simultaneous improvement in her overall behavior since we've begun to crate her again. She isn't running away anymore for startes. Even if we leave the front door open she just "hangs out" on the front walk or unfenced front yard. She also is having better social behavior with other dogs and people. We recently took her to the 'Go Dog Go' dog fair at our local park and she was great! She didn't growl at other dogs or try to start something with any of them. Of course we kept her on a short leash and Jason (her alpha) was with us. Still, I am wondering if there could be a positive correlation?? I am hoping so! Even her barking seems to be down. Perhaps the vet was correct when he said that dogs crave kennels, just like kids crave boundaries. Maybe we were just giving her too much freedom and she was exploiting it. We will be out of town for a few nights next month without a place for her to stay (the grandparents are away). I am looking into boarders and think I have found a good one out in Woodinville that is for small dogs only. The owner even has a Westie of her own and it is kennel/cage free. We will visit, with Ginger and the kids, on Thurs. morning at 8am (yes, 8 to 9 am are the visiting hours!). If it works out I'll post the web link for the place. I've also been meaning to try out Pup Scrub, a self cleaning dog place. You bring your dog and muscle power, they provide the tubs and soap. Might be fun for the kids. Might be chaos for me though.

Another small triumph in the healthy eating war!

5 and 6 yr. old accepted the organic PB on brown rice cakes...they even asked for seconds! Now if I can get the 10 yr. old off of the white mini bagels...

Clean-Eating Update

Making Progress (the good news)-
*Tried blue agave sweetener in my tea this morning...can't really notice the difference, that was an easy one!
*Bought ground flax seed at Joe's..sprinkled on my yogurt/berries/honey/granola this morning..noticed the taste a tiny bit but not a big deal.
*Kids and I made wraps for lunch today (with "mountain bread"). I put out lt. mayo, mustard, hummus, low sodium turkey, sharp cheddar, grated carrots, lettuce, cucumbers and avocados. They only rule was at least one veggie. It was great to see my ten year old daughter put ALL the veggies on hers and after tasting it, come back in to say "this needs some hummus!".
*Packed hubby a mini-cooler (Tosca recommends packing a cooler everyday for work). Jason got breakfast (same as me)plus some sliced bell pepper, an apple and a Laughing Cow light.
I am drinking about 2L of H2O a day...trying to slowly up that amount.
*Put ground flax seed on kids' oatmeal and in my eat clean banana-applesauce muffins (egg whites only). No one said anything (kids said a little bland) but they scarfed them up!
*For dinner last night tried the Caribbean chicken (easy) but grilled instead of simmering on stove, yams, whole grain braid, berries, and oven roasted brussels and beets on lettuce with goat cheese and homemade salad dressing (rice vinegar and olive oil). I didn't offer the salad to the kids, but my ten year old literally cavorted into the kitchen demanding "brussel sprouts, you didn't tell me you made brussel sprouts, where are they?!?". She ate a bunch up, much to my satisfaction!

Still Working on (the not so good news)-
*Tried Sunflower Seed butter (in place of PB) on the two who usually like PB (6 and 5 yr. olds). They wouldn't eat it. :( I guess we'll keep serving PB only when the nut-allergic 2 yr. old is sleeping or gone.
*Still can't find a bread my 10yr. old and I can agree on. She absolutely refuses to eat Dave's Killer Bread, which is what I usually buy. She just won't do seeds or nuts. And she wouldn't eat the whole grain loaf from dinner last night.
*Kids and hubby still buying ice-cream for the after dinner/late night treat. I am REALLY trying not to eat after 8 pm..managed it the last two nights! And damn was it hard to resist the hot-out-of-the-oven muffins at 9 pm!
* I am flavoring my water with a little crystal light ice tea or lemonade. Just a little bit when I need some flavor or caffeine.
*Still drinking my mochas....skim milk..but I know it's bad.
*Serving size...this is my major downfall. (See previous blog: Live to eat). I tend to eat fast (with 4 kids it's become a terrible habit)and then get seconds. I am trying to eat slower and not take seconds..hard one.
*Still buying: white mini bagels for kids, Noah's bagels for the freezer (black pepper potato is SO good), deli lunch meat, Quaker granola bars (low sugar at least) and oatmeal (high fiber one though).
*And I just can't get myself to eat plain egg whites scrambled..yuck!

Goals:
*Find a bread 10 yr. old will eat
*Try whole grain pasta
*Drink less wine/beer etc.
*No more super sizing portions
*Meet with a trainer about focus areas (getting over my plateau!)
*Get a smoothie maker
*Try making my own oatmeal

The Death Grip

I signed up for a book talk through my toddler group and then never went. But I did read (am actually not quite finished to be honest) the book, A Nation of Wimps-The High Cost of Invasive Parenting by Hara Estroff Marano. The premise is that today's parents are not only hovering over their children and everything they do but actually have a 'death grip' on them that lasts through their college years. Yes, the new term 'death grip parent' is now replacing 'helicopter parent'. The book is based in psychology and lots of research studies and being a former psychology student myself I did enjoy all the references to study groups, conferences, universities and observations.
Parts of the book I wholeheartedly agree with are:
*Kids need to play more. Not structured activity time but imaginative play, where they make up the games, the rules, etc. and no adult is butting in to make sure things are fair, scrutinize the rules, etc.
*Kids need recess at school. Kids who have more recess time at school enjoy school more and WANT to go to school more.
*Kids need more play based pre-school programs. In a study done in the U.S. kids who came into school with an academic based pre-school background did perform better on reading tasks at first but were no better by the end of first grade than kids from a play based (more traditional) pre-school. However, the academic based kids were more depressed at the end of first grade (i.e. did not enjoy school, learning, etc.) and the play based kids happier.
**That is exactly why I have my kids enrolled in a pre-school program whose mission statement is "Children learn through play". And that's what the research proves. "The opposite of play is not work. It's depression."
*Giving kids unrealistic expectations is bad. E.g. If you don't go to Harvard you are a failure. Of course no one would ever say that explicitly to their child (we hope not!) but by always demanding perfection (100% on every spelling test, all A's (or in our case 3's and 4's) on report cards, making the goals at the games, etc. etc.) whether we're aware of it or not we are unknowingly setting up kids for depression and anxiety. I have to admit I am guilty of this sometimes. It's frustrating when my child doesn't study and gets a bunch of words wrong on her test. But am I harming her by asking her to get 100% because I know she is capable? That's where the waters gets murky. We just need to be careful that our kids don't equate "accomplishments to self worth". Basically, don't let your kid become your project!
*The Love and Logic Principle--if your school age child forgets their HW at home do you run it to school or let them feel the consequences of forgetting? L&L says you let them feel the consequences, so they LEARN for next time. Apparently that's not what parents are doing these days. Not only are they running their child's HW/permission slips/sports gear etc. to school but they are doing the HW for the kids, constantly meeting witht the teachers to demand better grades, sending letters to administrators, and getting kicked out of sports events. And this isn't just the grade schools. This is happening in COLLEGE! Colleges are now having to put together pamphlets for "Parental Standards of Behavior" at sporting events. Parents are now contacting their child's college professor to debate a grade or assignment. Okay, I would have DIED if my parents did this in college. But I guess if you grow up with a 'death grip' parent this is the norm.
While reading this book I thought of another I'd read in years past and decided to reread, "The Three Martini Playdate". Yes, some of it is a joke, but the basic idea is to let go and let your kid live their life, even at a young age. The 'Three Martini' chapter is a test for potential parents of playdates. When they come to pick up their child offer them a martini (duing cocktail hour of course). If they look at you in horror and trot their young one out of there as if your house were on fire, you know not to invite that child back. But if they gladly accept with open arms and tell you how much they desperately would LOVE one, you know you've found a friend indeed! Naturally I would not offer a cocktail to someone I've only met once or twice (nor do I make them on a regular basis in my home) but I think this can equate to a glass of wine. The book goes on to encourage parents to let their kids be kids....let them fall of their bike and scrape their knee, don't babyproof the ENTIRE house..kids need to learn not to run into coffee tables and hearths and not to play in the toilet, don't cook entirely different meals for the kids..you are not a waitress. Basically life skills. Not everything will be baby or child proof where they go to, not everyone is willing to make them a special meal (how else will they learn to love feta, babaghnoush, and sushi unless they try it?? sometimes by force if necessary). I remember someone telling me their pediatrician told them "Kids are like dogs, you need to run them". He encouraged her to send them out to regular outdoor time (without you outside with them). Strap on raincoats, snow coats or boots and send them out for 3o minutes unaccompanied. Let them explore and figure out what to do. Kids need to experience boredom..it leads to day dreams, fantasies, imaginary friends, creative writing, reading w/o being asked to, making forts, etc. And those experiences are exactly what lead to funtional, successful and creative thinking adults, who don't move back in with you when they graduate from college, and isn't that really the goal in parenting? I know it is for me!. :)

It's still raining...and I haven't found the post its or notebads...okay I found one but it's in the shape of sunglasses and about 2 inches..must be one of Emma's. I did find Ethan and Ella's thank you notes from their birthdays (last Oct. and Nov.) that never got sent which only reminded me that I never sent Ethan's thank you cards from his 5th birthday the year before..where are those? They were so cute, it was at a fire station and I took pics of all the boys driving the fire trucks. Maybe I sent them? Urgh...how did this happen? I used to be so on top of those kinds of things.
I took my 10 year old and her friend to the mall yesterday to buy swimsuits. Found out Justice is not "cool" anymore, their suits cover too much. Pac Sun is where it's at. Took one look at the suits for my petite, hasn't come close to hitting puberty yet tween and realizing even the XS would be too big for her but the XL too small for me..how did that happen?? We left with XS string bikinis..I guess she can learn the hard way when she dives into the pool..wasn't in the mood for a big battle (wasn't it just yesterday I was fighting with my mom to shop at The Cube instead of Fred Meyers?). They begged to stop at Hollister on the way out. Is this a night club or a clothing store? Couldn't tell. Lights off, loud music, reeks of perfume/cologne ("..doesn't it smell great?!" my daughter and her friend pointed out "..they spray men's cologne through the air!!"). Great, I can already feel the migraine coming on. I was greeted by a 16 year old with a "what's up?" when I walked in, but I'm sure she was clearly thinking "what the hell are you doing in here?!" until she saw me rendezvous with the tweens.
We moved some furniture into the newly remodeled basement..kids super excited. We're getting Emma a queen bed (she's been after this for a year or two now) on Wed. when my husband can go back to the store and negotiate w/o the wife and 4 kids in tow. We're passing beds down. Four year old gets the twin bed while the toddler bed goes into storage for the two year old still in the crib. Hopefully this will be the last time I have to talk my husband into buying beds/mattresses. Everyone can stay with their beds. When tween goes to college in 8 years (yikes!)we can give 4 year old the "big" bed. Okay, just talking about beds is making me tired.
Just realized I LOVE Rascal Flatts, how did I not know about them before?? Tomorrow has to be better than today...no dead battery in the car, puking on me two year old in the rain squall (at least we were outside) and dog pooping 5 times (we don't have a fenced yard yet so I am still scooping each one at the time, except for the two I didn't have bags for today!).
Listening to J. Mayer.."..red wine and Ambien, you're talking shit again"..just listened to the actual lyrics for the first time..hmm...maybe I'd get some good sleep.

Where does stuff walk off to??

How can I not have/find any post-its or note pads to write on?? It's driving me nuts! I am writing messages/notes on the back of envelopes and recycle papers. I distinctly remember emptying my desk drawer at the old house into a box to go to the new house (not packed in the POD) and it's nowhere to be found. I guess I could go to the store and buy more, but I know I have a ton somewhere....but maybe if I go out and buy them I'll come home and find them. That's usually how it works for me. To top it off it's raining (again) and I pulled a muscle in my shoulder at the gym last night...yep, it's one of those days!

Movin' Around....

....I know I've been exhuasted when I can't remember the last time I had trouble falling asleep. And that's big for me, I tend to lie down and my brain goes into overload: don't forget to sign up Em for summer camp, make sure a clean leo is in ballet bag tomorrow, read Bud's story with him in the morning for his Kindg. HW since we forgot tonight, call for an oil change, did I make the PSE bill this month??. etc. etc. Actually, I can remember the last time, it was in our old house. Lying awake, making mental checklists of all the things I needed to do to get us, our 4 kids, one dog and one fish moved. We didn't move far, but sometimes that doesn't matter. Just getting all the stuff out and semi-organized is enough of a challenge, regardless of where it's going.
In the new house not only have I still not put on the duvet cover, but only made the bed twice. Nightly I collapse onto the downy plumpness of our mussed up comforter and sink into immediate sleep. I am grateful for this since I still have so much to unpack, reorganize and stay on top of. Like blogging.
Not only did we move, but we moved into half the square footage of our old place. I said goodbye to a walk in pantry, corner soaking tub, automatic two car garage, two ovens and three fridges and hello to an older, quaint (I'm being optimistic for my own sake,)in progress (unfinished basement is currently under construction), garageless, 3br./1 bath (includes the laundry room) home for my family of 6 (8 as my eldest insists we include the dog and fish). However, I can now walk to the grocery store, multiple coffee houses/stands (this may not be a positive in my husband's eyes), my children's schools, the movie theater, wine bars (again this is debatable for many reasons), and parks. My car will stay cleaner since it will not continue to be our second home and we are already saving money on gas (although it may be a wash considering the coffee places).
Moving in and of itself is not a joy. It is exhausting and tends to bring out the worst in all of us. Leaving our old home was bittersweet; we brought home our youngest from the hospital to that house, my husband designed the interior with us in mind and we thoroughly and easily enjoyed entertaining there. But our new place is bringing us closer, yes in proximity but also in what we value. My kids are happier walking to and from school, I delight in last minute jaunts to the park after dinner that don't involve our car and the sunlight that pours into our new home (our last was shrouded in mature Evergreen trees--I won't miss the wind storms!). Our dog is losing weight with all the walks she now gets in and finding lots of new places to sniff (yes, that's me standing in Jason's shoes at 6 am in the front yard with a small white dog on a red leash, hair sticking straight up, not quite awake). I look forward to a summer filled with parks, sunlight, trips to the weekday market, long walks, picnics, watching the big boys play baseball down the street, trips to get frozen yogurt, last minute stops at the library, and eventually acquiring two more bedrooms, another bath, a play room and a fenced yard. Until then I'm leaving the bed unmade and more than a few boxes unpacked!

Omnivore

I can honestly say that I "live to eat" intead of "eat to live". Unfortunately I love it all; creamy camemberts, fresh fish tacos, local microbrews, savory saags with homemade paneer, steamed 'sticky rice' and hum bows dipped in a mix of hot chili and soy sauces, singe tall nf mochas-no foam-with whip...I could go on and on. But alas this is not helping my waistline. I've been hitting the gym with as much regularity as one with 4 kids, a p/t job, house full of boxes that still need to be unpacked and a husband with a demanding job can....I've actually been pretty good about it, hey it's a break from the kiddos at the least. But the weight stays on...I do notice a difference in the tone of my arms and legs, but nothing, and I mean, nothing in my abs. Ugh. I guess the approach of work out 4 times a week but still eat whatever I want at 35 isn't working. Okay, ready for a new approach. When I was on my trip to San Fran last week I found a neat little bookstore in Mill Valley (The Depot) and a book I'd been meaning to look at: "The Eat Clean Diet" by Tosca Reno. Besides her cool name and that her book forward was written by make-up guru Bobbi Brown, she has some cool ideas/points that I am willing to try.
Part of the plan makes me cringe (no white flour/white sugar or alcohol)..ouch. But with small steps I am going to try this out on our family over the summer (hoping the kids won't remember that I promised they could each take turns picking out one box of cereal, any kind they wanted, each week this summer...right now it's only shredded mini wheats, cheerios, rice crispies and the occasional cin. toast crunch when dad does the shopping).
Here's her premise for "Clean-Eating Principles" paraphrased by me:
1. Eat 6 small meals each day. Not so hard...kids already eat 1. breakfast. 2. a.m. snack 3. lunch 4. pm. snack (at school) 4. Afterschool snack 5. dinner 6. dessert
Hey, they're already there! BUT, I am sure I'll need to curb the "dessert" into more of a healthy "snack". I'll have to get the reluctant husband on board with this, perhaps packing him a cooler to keep in the car with 3 labeled bags of "meals" and when to eat them (hey, the micro managing control freak teacher is getting excited for this!).
2. Eat every 2 to 3 hours. That's easy.
3. Eat a combo of lean protein and complex carbs at each meal. Ok, lean protein would be fish, chicken, turkey, tofu?, beans? cheese (I hope so!) and complex carbs...not so sure about that, I'll have to look more into....am thinking it means whole grains.
4. Drink 2 to 3 liters a day (and pee every 30 minutes!)...you're supposed to measure it out ahead of time so you see how much it really is and keep track. Note: Buy 1 liter reusable water bottles, I wonder how much our reg. ones hold. I'll have to measure...I drink about 4 to 5 of my reusable bottles a day...I'll be right back, going to measure it out. Ok, 4 of my bottles are 2.5 liters...pretty good. 5 are exactly 3 liters. No wonder I am always going to the bathroom. Jason chides me over it and I thought it was the after effects of 4 kids...guess I am just "eating/drinking clean!".
5. Rely on fresh fruits and veggies for complex carbs, enzymes and fiber. Okay, explains the complex carbs better for above. For some reason I am great about getting 5 servings of fruits/veg.'s into the kids each day but terrible about eating them myself sometimes. Today I've had: 1 cup spinach, 1/8C dried cranberries, 1/2 avocado. Not too shabby I guess.
6. Eat whole grains, not refined, over processed ones. Harder. I LOVE baguettes, corn tortillas (does that count as a whole grain??), bagels, pasta, etc. This is going to be the challenge with the fam. I've already completely switched over to the whole grain Dave's Killer Bread (my 10 yr. old daughter just quit eating bread), but the 5 and 6 yr. old seem ok with it. Jason and I love it! It's going to be harder with the bagels, waffles, pancake mix and pasta though.
7. Choose lean protein from: fish, poultry, wild game, soy products and legumes. It's a challenge to get seafood in once a week (hey, I love it, just don't love to cook it myself or battle my kids over it at dinnertime) and one I am going to take on. I guess it's adios red meat and bacon. Ooh, I'll really miss you bacon. Everything really is "better with bacon".
8. Eat healthy fats EVERYDAY from fish, healthy oils, nuts, seeds and grains. I quit eating peanut butter when my youngest (now 2) got diagnosed with severe food allergies and only give it to family members when she's sleeping or they are at school/work. I will have to give sunflower seed butter a try...
9. Never miss a meal (I usually don't, that's the problem), esp. breakfast. My kids wake up hungry. First question is always "What's for breakfast??"
10. Stick to reasonable portion sizes. This will def. be the hardest of all!!!!!!!!!
Do not eat/avoid:
white flour, white sugar, fake sweeteners, alcohol, sat. and trans fat foods, chemicials/preservatives, etc.

Okay, here's my plan:
*I have AT LEAST two cups of tea a day with 1 TB (I'm being honest at least) of white sugar in it (and 1 T skim milk). So I am going to try and switch to-agave nectar, not sure what it is yet, but have at least heard of it.
*Make my own oatmeal...we rely heavily on the instant packs of oatmeal for the kids...so I will attempt to try making the "morning hot cereal mix" that you can make ahead and keep in a tupperware for weeks. I will serve with brown sugar, cinammon and real maple syrup (we switched to that about 6 years ago, dang it's expensive though!). And fresh fruit as available.
*No more string cheese, enourage more yogurt eating. That's harder since I'm sure she's not referring to Dananinos, Trix yogurt or even Tillamook's Vanilla Bean or Yoplait...hmm...I'll have to look into this. Cheese stix are so handy too.
*Switch white bread to whole grain: Already done, checked off the list (I like to include things I've already done).
*No more processed crackers (Ritz, Goldfish, Club Crackers). This will be VERY hard on the kids. They are processed carb junkies.
*No more fruit jucie...ok, we limit ourselves to 4 oz a day or less easily, I only buy 100% OJ and serve only with breakfast. However, my youngest only cares for Apple and drinks 4 to 6 ounces a day watered down 50%. According to Tosca, it should be a 1 part juice 2 parts water ratio though (is that 1:3?).
*No more soda in house. Already done, except for 7 up in case of sickness.
*No more candy, junk food, etc.
* Buy and try out pumpkin oil
*Eat meals together: already done
*Swtich off tv's, computers, etc. during meals: already done!
*Do not use food as reward or punishment. Hmm...that's hard. I realize I do that more often than I should..."eat up and you can have some ice cream later." "If you do a good job on your chores/HW dad might take you for an ice cream later".
*Include children in your shopping and cooking. Already done, although frankly, it's easier not to with 4 in tow...
..to be continued...

Observations from a 'Lonely Only': Part Two

Okay, the reason I was rereading the book was to gather some insight and advice into parenting a family of four. The first step was to analyze ourselves as parents (focusing on myself was easy, after all I am a 'lonely only' or 'super first born' and that's what we're best at!). Turns out since we both lean to the perfectionistic side of things we need to be very careful not to transfer this in our way of expectations for our kids (especially our first born). Point #1 to remember:
1. "Children need encouragement more than prodding--just say, everything's going to be okay. What's the problem? Do you say that isn't working out right? Can I help you?"
Why is this so much easier for me to do in the classroom and not with my own kids. Instead what tends to come out is, "You can do it. Just focus and try harder. Push yourself. I'm not helping you with the whole thing" etc. etc.
Dr. Leman says, "The point is that teaching kids to seek excellence instead of pursuing perfectionism can start when they're very young." This is all very helpful in dealing with my own first born daughter and the best way to parent (or not to parent)her. But what about the rest of the pack?
Middle Children: of which I have two. My son, second in the family but the first born son, will most likely display first born and middle child characteristics. So far he seems to float along like a middle child. Very unconcerned about schedules, rules, etc. In Kindergarten earlier this year he didn't come in for recess. Teacher called the office and eventually the whole school was on lookout for him. He was found out at the big kids' recess time (which comes right after his) still playing in the dirt at the edge of the field. He simply "didn't hear the bell ring" (or notice that all his friends left) and stayed engrossed in what he was doing. He very casually went back to class and attempted to join right in with what was now going on. Even when he discussed it with the Principal (yes, our son has already been to the Principal's office in Kindergarten) he was very laid back about it, not upset where he was at all. In fact, we didn't even learn about this until big sis informed us that evening! Would this have ever happened to her? No way, no how! She has NEVER been to the Principal's office and I think would "die" on the spot if she was sent there. As our first born, she is a true rule follower and schedule abider. Our third child, a girl, is a true middle child, easy going, laid back and sociable. What can we do as parents for our middle children so they don't feel "squeezed"?
1. Recognize that middle children tend to avoid sharing how they really feel. Make sure to give them special time alone with you to talk and basically just feel special.
2.Make sure they get their own special priveleges and not always get the hand me down clothes and toys
3. Listen carefully to their explanations to get the true story. They tend to be conflict avoiders and want to please others.
4. Make sure to finish their baby books too (and include lots of pictures with just them in it!). Uh oh, I'm in big trouble here.
Finally, the baby of the family.....the ones who get away with murder. Yes, they tend to be more manipulative but they also get manipulated by their older siblings more often (maybe that's where they learn it from??). They tend to be more dependent and coddled and cuddled way more (okay, this is all sounding very real...). Last borns tend to "like to be read to" but to actually be the poorest readers of the family. My last born takes "likes to be read to" to a whole new level; following us around the house with stacks of books (or puzzles) pleading "read to me! read to me in my room. read to me on couch. read to me!!!!!" until someone gives in. It will be interesting to follow her reading development over time. In addition we should:
1. Make a big deal out of her accomplishments (no matter how many times we've received a bejeweled candle holder from pre-school class).
2. FINISH HER BABY BOOK (before adulthood)
3. Don't ease up on the rules and consequences for her as she gets older
4. Make sure she has jobs and chores too, from an early age
5. Make sure she marries a first born!
And hopefully this will help all four to grow up to be equally well adjusted and competent adults....and feel less in competition with each other and decrease the fighting and rivalry...one can only hope and pray!

Observations of a Lonely Only...Part 1

I've been rereading a little in The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are by Dr. Kevin Leman, trying to sort out the personality diffrences, squabblings and rivalries among the 4 kids of late. As a 'lonely only' myself I find it all rather intriguing and perplexing how the kids interact, not ever having a sibling to interact or compete with myself. There's a whole chapter on only children (Lonely Only, Super First Born...and not super in a good way!). I have to admit that the description "critical of themselves and others...tending to nitpick on small things, organized, a list maker and perfectionistic" all hit home rather hard. In addition we tend to set the bar too high for ourselves and others. My husband always chides me about that scene in "Christmas Vacation" when Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo are up in bed and he is planning the "most fun-filled family Christmas ever-the Griswold Family Christmas". Beverly tries to gently tell him not to get too worked up, she doesn't want him to "over do things and set expectation no one can ever reach." Chase replies "when was the last time I overdid anything?!".
Dr. Leman advises that people marry their birth order opposite for best matches. Unfortunately I married almost the worst possible match, a functional or quasi only child since the next sibling is 8 years above him. No wonder we lock horns and refuse to give in to each other so often, as 'lonely onlies' both of us would like to be in control and have more than a difficult time saying: "You may be right. Let's try it your way."
Child crying, party two coming to a blog near you soon!

Ginger

So I took the dog in for her annual vet visit. She HATES the vet...she gets her nails clipped there every month or so and it takes 3 of them to hold her down. We've been having some behavior issues with her starting to growl at the kids friends when they come over with lots of loud barking (while her tail is wagging) and also growling at me if I go to snuggle her in the evening when she is resting (kind of like, "leave me alone!"). But neither is acceptable to me. Of course she never does this to Jason...he only has to look at her wrong and she runs and hides or rolls over and pees. I brought this up to the vet and basically she think of us as her pack. Jason is the alpha and right now she thinks she comes next! She believes that I am under her right now; how did this happen??!! Here's what we need to do to start rectifying it:
*Never feed her before we eat (which we have been doing for a long time. She's hungry and begging while I'm cooking so I have the kids feed her dinner before we sit down. Since she doesn't get lunch I thought I was being thoughtful...). In a pack the alpha dog eats first and then it does down until the lowest dog eats very last. So by feeding her first we were telling her that she is awful important.
*If we give her something to eat besides her kibble (chewie, etc.) we should pretend to eat it first/chew on it first before handing it to her. By doing this I am showing her I am above her, I get to chew on it first!
*I need to work with her on commands more (sit, stay, etc.) so she realizes I hold power over her.
*DO NOT allow her to growl at me at night. I let her lay on a little blanket at the bottom of our bed while I watch TV. Kick her off immed. when she growls. Last night I went to kiss her, she growled so I dumped her off.
*Be proactive with visitors. Keep her away from the kids friends. He recommended that we bring her crate back in too. Not as punishment but as a safe place to place her before kids come over and a safe retreat for her during the day when we're home (leaving door open). He also did not recommend we give her the run of the house while gone (she has the run of the upstairs on hard floors only). Gives her too much of a being in charge feeling.
I just can't get over that the dog really thinks she's above me!!

Chasing time...or other appropriate blog titles.

I had a hard time choosing a blog title (and it wasn't just the screaming two year old in the background!)...I kept thinking, what am I doing most of the time, what is our life focused on right now, what do I wish I was doing...and it really came down to chasing time. However, then I noticed the suggested blog title of your username, and thought, well that's actually simpler. I decided not to complicate things for now. Other titles that came to mind:
*4 kids and dog (boring)
*getting down in K town (cheesy)
*slowly losing it (too depressing albeit true)
*creative chaos
and that's all I had time for.
Okay, starting to blog now...a few friends have started blogging lately and between that and watching Julie and Julia (loved the book AND the movie) it gave me the incentive to finally start. Not that I have the time by any means, but I find you can fit just about anything in you really want to. So here's my earnest attempt.
Tonight: Tuesday Taco Night--ground turkey enchiladas, rice and beans.
Book: Just finished The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart---J Fiction. Hard to get into, but loved at the end. Now if I could just get my 10 year old daughter to read it.
Weather: coldish (30's at night to 50's at day) with some sunbreaks today.