I can honestly say that I "live to eat" intead of "eat to live". Unfortunately I love it all; creamy camemberts, fresh fish tacos, local microbrews, savory saags with homemade paneer, steamed 'sticky rice' and hum bows dipped in a mix of hot chili and soy sauces, singe tall nf mochas-no foam-with whip...I could go on and on. But alas this is not helping my waistline. I've been hitting the gym with as much regularity as one with 4 kids, a p/t job, house full of boxes that still need to be unpacked and a husband with a demanding job can....I've actually been pretty good about it, hey it's a break from the kiddos at the least. But the weight stays on...I do notice a difference in the tone of my arms and legs, but nothing, and I mean, nothing in my abs. Ugh. I guess the approach of work out 4 times a week but still eat whatever I want at 35 isn't working. Okay, ready for a new approach. When I was on my trip to San Fran last week I found a neat little bookstore in Mill Valley (The Depot) and a book I'd been meaning to look at: "The Eat Clean Diet" by Tosca Reno. Besides her cool name and that her book forward was written by make-up guru Bobbi Brown, she has some cool ideas/points that I am willing to try.
Part of the plan makes me cringe (no white flour/white sugar or alcohol)..ouch. But with small steps I am going to try this out on our family over the summer (hoping the kids won't remember that I promised they could each take turns picking out one box of cereal, any kind they wanted, each week this summer...right now it's only shredded mini wheats, cheerios, rice crispies and the occasional cin. toast crunch when dad does the shopping).
Here's her premise for "Clean-Eating Principles" paraphrased by me:
1. Eat 6 small meals each day. Not so hard...kids already eat 1. breakfast. 2. a.m. snack 3. lunch 4. pm. snack (at school) 4. Afterschool snack 5. dinner 6. dessert
Hey, they're already there! BUT, I am sure I'll need to curb the "dessert" into more of a healthy "snack". I'll have to get the reluctant husband on board with this, perhaps packing him a cooler to keep in the car with 3 labeled bags of "meals" and when to eat them (hey, the micro managing control freak teacher is getting excited for this!).
2. Eat every 2 to 3 hours. That's easy.
3. Eat a combo of lean protein and complex carbs at each meal. Ok, lean protein would be fish, chicken, turkey, tofu?, beans? cheese (I hope so!) and complex carbs...not so sure about that, I'll have to look more into....am thinking it means whole grains.
4. Drink 2 to 3 liters a day (and pee every 30 minutes!)...you're supposed to measure it out ahead of time so you see how much it really is and keep track. Note: Buy 1 liter reusable water bottles, I wonder how much our reg. ones hold. I'll have to measure...I drink about 4 to 5 of my reusable bottles a day...I'll be right back, going to measure it out. Ok, 4 of my bottles are 2.5 liters...pretty good. 5 are exactly 3 liters. No wonder I am always going to the bathroom. Jason chides me over it and I thought it was the after effects of 4 kids...guess I am just "eating/drinking clean!".
5. Rely on fresh fruits and veggies for complex carbs, enzymes and fiber. Okay, explains the complex carbs better for above. For some reason I am great about getting 5 servings of fruits/veg.'s into the kids each day but terrible about eating them myself sometimes. Today I've had: 1 cup spinach, 1/8C dried cranberries, 1/2 avocado. Not too shabby I guess.
6. Eat whole grains, not refined, over processed ones. Harder. I LOVE baguettes, corn tortillas (does that count as a whole grain??), bagels, pasta, etc. This is going to be the challenge with the fam. I've already completely switched over to the whole grain Dave's Killer Bread (my 10 yr. old daughter just quit eating bread), but the 5 and 6 yr. old seem ok with it. Jason and I love it! It's going to be harder with the bagels, waffles, pancake mix and pasta though.
7. Choose lean protein from: fish, poultry, wild game, soy products and legumes. It's a challenge to get seafood in once a week (hey, I love it, just don't love to cook it myself or battle my kids over it at dinnertime) and one I am going to take on. I guess it's adios red meat and bacon. Ooh, I'll really miss you bacon. Everything really is "better with bacon".
8. Eat healthy fats EVERYDAY from fish, healthy oils, nuts, seeds and grains. I quit eating peanut butter when my youngest (now 2) got diagnosed with severe food allergies and only give it to family members when she's sleeping or they are at school/work. I will have to give sunflower seed butter a try...
9. Never miss a meal (I usually don't, that's the problem), esp. breakfast. My kids wake up hungry. First question is always "What's for breakfast??"
10. Stick to reasonable portion sizes. This will def. be the hardest of all!!!!!!!!!
Do not eat/avoid:
white flour, white sugar, fake sweeteners, alcohol, sat. and trans fat foods, chemicials/preservatives, etc.
Okay, here's my plan:
*I have AT LEAST two cups of tea a day with 1 TB (I'm being honest at least) of white sugar in it (and 1 T skim milk). So I am going to try and switch to-agave nectar, not sure what it is yet, but have at least heard of it.
*Make my own oatmeal...we rely heavily on the instant packs of oatmeal for the kids...so I will attempt to try making the "morning hot cereal mix" that you can make ahead and keep in a tupperware for weeks. I will serve with brown sugar, cinammon and real maple syrup (we switched to that about 6 years ago, dang it's expensive though!). And fresh fruit as available.
*No more string cheese, enourage more yogurt eating. That's harder since I'm sure she's not referring to Dananinos, Trix yogurt or even Tillamook's Vanilla Bean or Yoplait...hmm...I'll have to look into this. Cheese stix are so handy too.
*Switch white bread to whole grain: Already done, checked off the list (I like to include things I've already done).
*No more processed crackers (Ritz, Goldfish, Club Crackers). This will be VERY hard on the kids. They are processed carb junkies.
*No more fruit jucie...ok, we limit ourselves to 4 oz a day or less easily, I only buy 100% OJ and serve only with breakfast. However, my youngest only cares for Apple and drinks 4 to 6 ounces a day watered down 50%. According to Tosca, it should be a 1 part juice 2 parts water ratio though (is that 1:3?).
*No more soda in house. Already done, except for 7 up in case of sickness.
*No more candy, junk food, etc.
* Buy and try out pumpkin oil
*Eat meals together: already done
*Swtich off tv's, computers, etc. during meals: already done!
*Do not use food as reward or punishment. Hmm...that's hard. I realize I do that more often than I should..."eat up and you can have some ice cream later." "If you do a good job on your chores/HW dad might take you for an ice cream later".
*Include children in your shopping and cooking. Already done, although frankly, it's easier not to with 4 in tow...
..to be continued...
Summer 2012
Sisters!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Observations from a 'Lonely Only': Part Two
Okay, the reason I was rereading the book was to gather some insight and advice into parenting a family of four. The first step was to analyze ourselves as parents (focusing on myself was easy, after all I am a 'lonely only' or 'super first born' and that's what we're best at!). Turns out since we both lean to the perfectionistic side of things we need to be very careful not to transfer this in our way of expectations for our kids (especially our first born). Point #1 to remember:
1. "Children need encouragement more than prodding--just say, everything's going to be okay. What's the problem? Do you say that isn't working out right? Can I help you?"
Why is this so much easier for me to do in the classroom and not with my own kids. Instead what tends to come out is, "You can do it. Just focus and try harder. Push yourself. I'm not helping you with the whole thing" etc. etc.
Dr. Leman says, "The point is that teaching kids to seek excellence instead of pursuing perfectionism can start when they're very young." This is all very helpful in dealing with my own first born daughter and the best way to parent (or not to parent)her. But what about the rest of the pack?
Middle Children: of which I have two. My son, second in the family but the first born son, will most likely display first born and middle child characteristics. So far he seems to float along like a middle child. Very unconcerned about schedules, rules, etc. In Kindergarten earlier this year he didn't come in for recess. Teacher called the office and eventually the whole school was on lookout for him. He was found out at the big kids' recess time (which comes right after his) still playing in the dirt at the edge of the field. He simply "didn't hear the bell ring" (or notice that all his friends left) and stayed engrossed in what he was doing. He very casually went back to class and attempted to join right in with what was now going on. Even when he discussed it with the Principal (yes, our son has already been to the Principal's office in Kindergarten) he was very laid back about it, not upset where he was at all. In fact, we didn't even learn about this until big sis informed us that evening! Would this have ever happened to her? No way, no how! She has NEVER been to the Principal's office and I think would "die" on the spot if she was sent there. As our first born, she is a true rule follower and schedule abider. Our third child, a girl, is a true middle child, easy going, laid back and sociable. What can we do as parents for our middle children so they don't feel "squeezed"?
1. Recognize that middle children tend to avoid sharing how they really feel. Make sure to give them special time alone with you to talk and basically just feel special.
2.Make sure they get their own special priveleges and not always get the hand me down clothes and toys
3. Listen carefully to their explanations to get the true story. They tend to be conflict avoiders and want to please others.
4. Make sure to finish their baby books too (and include lots of pictures with just them in it!). Uh oh, I'm in big trouble here.
Finally, the baby of the family.....the ones who get away with murder. Yes, they tend to be more manipulative but they also get manipulated by their older siblings more often (maybe that's where they learn it from??). They tend to be more dependent and coddled and cuddled way more (okay, this is all sounding very real...). Last borns tend to "like to be read to" but to actually be the poorest readers of the family. My last born takes "likes to be read to" to a whole new level; following us around the house with stacks of books (or puzzles) pleading "read to me! read to me in my room. read to me on couch. read to me!!!!!" until someone gives in. It will be interesting to follow her reading development over time. In addition we should:
1. Make a big deal out of her accomplishments (no matter how many times we've received a bejeweled candle holder from pre-school class).
2. FINISH HER BABY BOOK (before adulthood)
3. Don't ease up on the rules and consequences for her as she gets older
4. Make sure she has jobs and chores too, from an early age
5. Make sure she marries a first born!
And hopefully this will help all four to grow up to be equally well adjusted and competent adults....and feel less in competition with each other and decrease the fighting and rivalry...one can only hope and pray!
1. "Children need encouragement more than prodding--just say, everything's going to be okay. What's the problem? Do you say that isn't working out right? Can I help you?"
Why is this so much easier for me to do in the classroom and not with my own kids. Instead what tends to come out is, "You can do it. Just focus and try harder. Push yourself. I'm not helping you with the whole thing" etc. etc.
Dr. Leman says, "The point is that teaching kids to seek excellence instead of pursuing perfectionism can start when they're very young." This is all very helpful in dealing with my own first born daughter and the best way to parent (or not to parent)her. But what about the rest of the pack?
Middle Children: of which I have two. My son, second in the family but the first born son, will most likely display first born and middle child characteristics. So far he seems to float along like a middle child. Very unconcerned about schedules, rules, etc. In Kindergarten earlier this year he didn't come in for recess. Teacher called the office and eventually the whole school was on lookout for him. He was found out at the big kids' recess time (which comes right after his) still playing in the dirt at the edge of the field. He simply "didn't hear the bell ring" (or notice that all his friends left) and stayed engrossed in what he was doing. He very casually went back to class and attempted to join right in with what was now going on. Even when he discussed it with the Principal (yes, our son has already been to the Principal's office in Kindergarten) he was very laid back about it, not upset where he was at all. In fact, we didn't even learn about this until big sis informed us that evening! Would this have ever happened to her? No way, no how! She has NEVER been to the Principal's office and I think would "die" on the spot if she was sent there. As our first born, she is a true rule follower and schedule abider. Our third child, a girl, is a true middle child, easy going, laid back and sociable. What can we do as parents for our middle children so they don't feel "squeezed"?
1. Recognize that middle children tend to avoid sharing how they really feel. Make sure to give them special time alone with you to talk and basically just feel special.
2.Make sure they get their own special priveleges and not always get the hand me down clothes and toys
3. Listen carefully to their explanations to get the true story. They tend to be conflict avoiders and want to please others.
4. Make sure to finish their baby books too (and include lots of pictures with just them in it!). Uh oh, I'm in big trouble here.
Finally, the baby of the family.....the ones who get away with murder. Yes, they tend to be more manipulative but they also get manipulated by their older siblings more often (maybe that's where they learn it from??). They tend to be more dependent and coddled and cuddled way more (okay, this is all sounding very real...). Last borns tend to "like to be read to" but to actually be the poorest readers of the family. My last born takes "likes to be read to" to a whole new level; following us around the house with stacks of books (or puzzles) pleading "read to me! read to me in my room. read to me on couch. read to me!!!!!" until someone gives in. It will be interesting to follow her reading development over time. In addition we should:
1. Make a big deal out of her accomplishments (no matter how many times we've received a bejeweled candle holder from pre-school class).
2. FINISH HER BABY BOOK (before adulthood)
3. Don't ease up on the rules and consequences for her as she gets older
4. Make sure she has jobs and chores too, from an early age
5. Make sure she marries a first born!
And hopefully this will help all four to grow up to be equally well adjusted and competent adults....and feel less in competition with each other and decrease the fighting and rivalry...one can only hope and pray!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Observations of a Lonely Only...Part 1
I've been rereading a little in The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are by Dr. Kevin Leman, trying to sort out the personality diffrences, squabblings and rivalries among the 4 kids of late. As a 'lonely only' myself I find it all rather intriguing and perplexing how the kids interact, not ever having a sibling to interact or compete with myself. There's a whole chapter on only children (Lonely Only, Super First Born...and not super in a good way!). I have to admit that the description "critical of themselves and others...tending to nitpick on small things, organized, a list maker and perfectionistic" all hit home rather hard. In addition we tend to set the bar too high for ourselves and others. My husband always chides me about that scene in "Christmas Vacation" when Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo are up in bed and he is planning the "most fun-filled family Christmas ever-the Griswold Family Christmas". Beverly tries to gently tell him not to get too worked up, she doesn't want him to "over do things and set expectation no one can ever reach." Chase replies "when was the last time I overdid anything?!".
Dr. Leman advises that people marry their birth order opposite for best matches. Unfortunately I married almost the worst possible match, a functional or quasi only child since the next sibling is 8 years above him. No wonder we lock horns and refuse to give in to each other so often, as 'lonely onlies' both of us would like to be in control and have more than a difficult time saying: "You may be right. Let's try it your way."
Child crying, party two coming to a blog near you soon!
Dr. Leman advises that people marry their birth order opposite for best matches. Unfortunately I married almost the worst possible match, a functional or quasi only child since the next sibling is 8 years above him. No wonder we lock horns and refuse to give in to each other so often, as 'lonely onlies' both of us would like to be in control and have more than a difficult time saying: "You may be right. Let's try it your way."
Child crying, party two coming to a blog near you soon!
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