July 10th, Back to the city (well small town city, but def. the city compared to island life). Kids had a tough first day adjusting. Lots of squabbling, hitting and tattletaling. I had to move a bunch of furniture of course, but felt good. Back to my RIPPED class at the gym after 9 days + of no work out, nearly killed me. High of being back: Kids playing on swing set and in kiddy pool in backyard Low: Kids fighting on swingset and in kiddy pool in backyard High: Eating mango popsicles on the deck of the gym with view of Lake Washington in 70+ degrees Low: 7 loads of laundry High: Having the house clean and getting more organized Low: Jason working from 7am to 8 pm :( **Emma stayed up at Guemes with neighbors...we miss her, but know she is having a ball!

Summer 2012: Up at Guemes Island for 9 days of relaxation and seperation from 'city life'. Kids doing fantastic...hard for me to destress. Wish this weather actually felt like summer...huddled in front of a fire in our wood stove right now. Can't seem to warm up, feel like I'm camping. Trying to decide on a road trip for the family...want to do N. California (Redwoods to SF and Santa Cruz) but not sure if it is biting off more than we really want to chew. Jason not sure if he can even make it. Decisions, decisions. Just want to make the most of this summer break before I head back to the rat race.

Back on track....

Back to the blog I go....busy couple of years off, my gosh can't believe it's been that long! At the NCCE conference in Seattle, Convention Center, for educators and technology. More to come!

Doggie Update

We have recently began to put Ginger in her kennel for night time (basement cooler in summer) and when we're gone (can't stay in a hot car). Surprisinly she seems to be okay with it. She is a "den" dog, meanding she was bred to like small, tight spaces. She can often be found under one of our beds for a quick nap or hideout. However, I've notice a simultaneous improvement in her overall behavior since we've begun to crate her again. She isn't running away anymore for startes. Even if we leave the front door open she just "hangs out" on the front walk or unfenced front yard. She also is having better social behavior with other dogs and people. We recently took her to the 'Go Dog Go' dog fair at our local park and she was great! She didn't growl at other dogs or try to start something with any of them. Of course we kept her on a short leash and Jason (her alpha) was with us. Still, I am wondering if there could be a positive correlation?? I am hoping so! Even her barking seems to be down. Perhaps the vet was correct when he said that dogs crave kennels, just like kids crave boundaries. Maybe we were just giving her too much freedom and she was exploiting it. We will be out of town for a few nights next month without a place for her to stay (the grandparents are away). I am looking into boarders and think I have found a good one out in Woodinville that is for small dogs only. The owner even has a Westie of her own and it is kennel/cage free. We will visit, with Ginger and the kids, on Thurs. morning at 8am (yes, 8 to 9 am are the visiting hours!). If it works out I'll post the web link for the place. I've also been meaning to try out Pup Scrub, a self cleaning dog place. You bring your dog and muscle power, they provide the tubs and soap. Might be fun for the kids. Might be chaos for me though.

Another small triumph in the healthy eating war!

5 and 6 yr. old accepted the organic PB on brown rice cakes...they even asked for seconds! Now if I can get the 10 yr. old off of the white mini bagels...

Clean-Eating Update

Making Progress (the good news)-
*Tried blue agave sweetener in my tea this morning...can't really notice the difference, that was an easy one!
*Bought ground flax seed at Joe's..sprinkled on my yogurt/berries/honey/granola this morning..noticed the taste a tiny bit but not a big deal.
*Kids and I made wraps for lunch today (with "mountain bread"). I put out lt. mayo, mustard, hummus, low sodium turkey, sharp cheddar, grated carrots, lettuce, cucumbers and avocados. They only rule was at least one veggie. It was great to see my ten year old daughter put ALL the veggies on hers and after tasting it, come back in to say "this needs some hummus!".
*Packed hubby a mini-cooler (Tosca recommends packing a cooler everyday for work). Jason got breakfast (same as me)plus some sliced bell pepper, an apple and a Laughing Cow light.
I am drinking about 2L of H2O a day...trying to slowly up that amount.
*Put ground flax seed on kids' oatmeal and in my eat clean banana-applesauce muffins (egg whites only). No one said anything (kids said a little bland) but they scarfed them up!
*For dinner last night tried the Caribbean chicken (easy) but grilled instead of simmering on stove, yams, whole grain braid, berries, and oven roasted brussels and beets on lettuce with goat cheese and homemade salad dressing (rice vinegar and olive oil). I didn't offer the salad to the kids, but my ten year old literally cavorted into the kitchen demanding "brussel sprouts, you didn't tell me you made brussel sprouts, where are they?!?". She ate a bunch up, much to my satisfaction!

Still Working on (the not so good news)-
*Tried Sunflower Seed butter (in place of PB) on the two who usually like PB (6 and 5 yr. olds). They wouldn't eat it. :( I guess we'll keep serving PB only when the nut-allergic 2 yr. old is sleeping or gone.
*Still can't find a bread my 10yr. old and I can agree on. She absolutely refuses to eat Dave's Killer Bread, which is what I usually buy. She just won't do seeds or nuts. And she wouldn't eat the whole grain loaf from dinner last night.
*Kids and hubby still buying ice-cream for the after dinner/late night treat. I am REALLY trying not to eat after 8 pm..managed it the last two nights! And damn was it hard to resist the hot-out-of-the-oven muffins at 9 pm!
* I am flavoring my water with a little crystal light ice tea or lemonade. Just a little bit when I need some flavor or caffeine.
*Still drinking my mochas....skim milk..but I know it's bad.
*Serving size...this is my major downfall. (See previous blog: Live to eat). I tend to eat fast (with 4 kids it's become a terrible habit)and then get seconds. I am trying to eat slower and not take seconds..hard one.
*Still buying: white mini bagels for kids, Noah's bagels for the freezer (black pepper potato is SO good), deli lunch meat, Quaker granola bars (low sugar at least) and oatmeal (high fiber one though).
*And I just can't get myself to eat plain egg whites scrambled..yuck!

Goals:
*Find a bread 10 yr. old will eat
*Try whole grain pasta
*Drink less wine/beer etc.
*No more super sizing portions
*Meet with a trainer about focus areas (getting over my plateau!)
*Get a smoothie maker
*Try making my own oatmeal

The Death Grip

I signed up for a book talk through my toddler group and then never went. But I did read (am actually not quite finished to be honest) the book, A Nation of Wimps-The High Cost of Invasive Parenting by Hara Estroff Marano. The premise is that today's parents are not only hovering over their children and everything they do but actually have a 'death grip' on them that lasts through their college years. Yes, the new term 'death grip parent' is now replacing 'helicopter parent'. The book is based in psychology and lots of research studies and being a former psychology student myself I did enjoy all the references to study groups, conferences, universities and observations.
Parts of the book I wholeheartedly agree with are:
*Kids need to play more. Not structured activity time but imaginative play, where they make up the games, the rules, etc. and no adult is butting in to make sure things are fair, scrutinize the rules, etc.
*Kids need recess at school. Kids who have more recess time at school enjoy school more and WANT to go to school more.
*Kids need more play based pre-school programs. In a study done in the U.S. kids who came into school with an academic based pre-school background did perform better on reading tasks at first but were no better by the end of first grade than kids from a play based (more traditional) pre-school. However, the academic based kids were more depressed at the end of first grade (i.e. did not enjoy school, learning, etc.) and the play based kids happier.
**That is exactly why I have my kids enrolled in a pre-school program whose mission statement is "Children learn through play". And that's what the research proves. "The opposite of play is not work. It's depression."
*Giving kids unrealistic expectations is bad. E.g. If you don't go to Harvard you are a failure. Of course no one would ever say that explicitly to their child (we hope not!) but by always demanding perfection (100% on every spelling test, all A's (or in our case 3's and 4's) on report cards, making the goals at the games, etc. etc.) whether we're aware of it or not we are unknowingly setting up kids for depression and anxiety. I have to admit I am guilty of this sometimes. It's frustrating when my child doesn't study and gets a bunch of words wrong on her test. But am I harming her by asking her to get 100% because I know she is capable? That's where the waters gets murky. We just need to be careful that our kids don't equate "accomplishments to self worth". Basically, don't let your kid become your project!
*The Love and Logic Principle--if your school age child forgets their HW at home do you run it to school or let them feel the consequences of forgetting? L&L says you let them feel the consequences, so they LEARN for next time. Apparently that's not what parents are doing these days. Not only are they running their child's HW/permission slips/sports gear etc. to school but they are doing the HW for the kids, constantly meeting witht the teachers to demand better grades, sending letters to administrators, and getting kicked out of sports events. And this isn't just the grade schools. This is happening in COLLEGE! Colleges are now having to put together pamphlets for "Parental Standards of Behavior" at sporting events. Parents are now contacting their child's college professor to debate a grade or assignment. Okay, I would have DIED if my parents did this in college. But I guess if you grow up with a 'death grip' parent this is the norm.
While reading this book I thought of another I'd read in years past and decided to reread, "The Three Martini Playdate". Yes, some of it is a joke, but the basic idea is to let go and let your kid live their life, even at a young age. The 'Three Martini' chapter is a test for potential parents of playdates. When they come to pick up their child offer them a martini (duing cocktail hour of course). If they look at you in horror and trot their young one out of there as if your house were on fire, you know not to invite that child back. But if they gladly accept with open arms and tell you how much they desperately would LOVE one, you know you've found a friend indeed! Naturally I would not offer a cocktail to someone I've only met once or twice (nor do I make them on a regular basis in my home) but I think this can equate to a glass of wine. The book goes on to encourage parents to let their kids be kids....let them fall of their bike and scrape their knee, don't babyproof the ENTIRE house..kids need to learn not to run into coffee tables and hearths and not to play in the toilet, don't cook entirely different meals for the kids..you are not a waitress. Basically life skills. Not everything will be baby or child proof where they go to, not everyone is willing to make them a special meal (how else will they learn to love feta, babaghnoush, and sushi unless they try it?? sometimes by force if necessary). I remember someone telling me their pediatrician told them "Kids are like dogs, you need to run them". He encouraged her to send them out to regular outdoor time (without you outside with them). Strap on raincoats, snow coats or boots and send them out for 3o minutes unaccompanied. Let them explore and figure out what to do. Kids need to experience boredom..it leads to day dreams, fantasies, imaginary friends, creative writing, reading w/o being asked to, making forts, etc. And those experiences are exactly what lead to funtional, successful and creative thinking adults, who don't move back in with you when they graduate from college, and isn't that really the goal in parenting? I know it is for me!. :)